A man told the doctor : "My wife's pregnant, but we haven't had sex in over a year. I don't understand it." The doctor said : "It's what we in the medical profession call a grudge pregnancy." "What's a grudge pregnancy?" asked the man. The doctor replied : "Well, somebody's obviously had it in for you please log in to view this image
A lad was hunting when a gust of wind blew his rifle over and discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be okay . . . . the damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot." "What's the bad news ?" asked the hunter. "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy that left quite a few holes in it, so I'm going to have to refer you to my sister." "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "No . . . .she's a flautist with the London Symphony Orchestra, and she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so that you don't pee in your eye."
What inspires me to get out of bed every morning, regardless of the weather conditions ? My bladder…….
Just answered a knock on the door. Fella standing there holding a clip board. 'T.V. licencing,' he said, 'You don't seem to have a licence to watch your television. ' I said, 'I do.' So I showed him. He said, ' But this is a photostat copy of last year's.' I said, 'Yes, that's right. All that's on are repeats.'
I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night. I'm now in hospital, waiting to be seen...
