I got chatting with a girl in a bar, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked. "Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends. ""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please. A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love. While I was putting my clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?" I said, "My wife found out."
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman arrived at a railway station in a state of inebriation just as The train was about to leave. A helpful porter managed to get The Englishman and The Scotsman aboard as The train pulled out. Then he turned to The Irishman and said, 'I'm sorry sir that I couldn't get you aboard The train.' 'My friends will be sorry too,' said The Irishman, 'they just came to see me off.'
My artistic girlfriend likes to draw on my body. When she was sad, I’d give her my shoulder to crayon.
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a Tuxedo.
