1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16861
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16862
  3. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,489
    Likes Received:
    65,091
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16864
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16865
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    I met a girl at the pub one night when I was much younger and I said to her "I'm gonna make love to you in my lounge, bedroom, kitchen, and the hallway."

    She said, "It's nice to pull a bloke with your kind of stamina!"

    She was gutted when I took her back to my caravan!
     
    #16866
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    A woman walking through a field sees Paddy and Mick working...
    Paddy is digging holes and as fast as he is digging them, Mick is filling them in.
    After 9 holes she says to Paddy 'why are you digging holes and then Mick is filling them in?'
    Paddy replies 'Well there's usually 3 of us but the lad who plants the trees is off sick today!'.
     
    #16867
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    "Lucy, in the sky, with diamonds."

    John Lennon was bloody rubbish at Cluedo.
     
    #16868
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    Meanwhile in the USA.
    I'll have two doughnuts and a AK-47 please!

    please log in to view this image
     
    #16869
  10. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,489
    Likes Received:
    65,091

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16871
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16872
  13. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,489
    Likes Received:
    65,091
    I’m going out to get this cracker!

    Wow, love the beat…gotta get me some off that!
    Any reviews?

    IMG_0100.jpeg
     
    #16873
  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,056
    Likes Received:
    232,325
    #steelmonkeys will have a copy
     
    #16874
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    A fat bird came smiling up to me in a nightclub, put her hand on my groin and said, "Have a guess what I want in my mouth tonight?"
    "I...I...I don't know?" I stuttered.
    "I'll give you a clue," she laughed, "It has four letters and begins with 'C'"
    "Oh, that's easy," I said, looking her up and down, "Cake."
     
    #16875
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16876
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16877
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says,
    "Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing.
    I hope you can forgive me."
    His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long
    gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive
    you." They embraced and kissed.
    On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back
    swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry darling, I've
    been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since
    we're being honest with each other, I have something to
    tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change
    operation. I was a man before I met you. I hope you can
    forgive me."
    The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw
    a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the
    ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf
    cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by
    one, then started on hers.
    He screamed and ranted, "You liar! You cheat! You despicable
    deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart
    and soul...and all these years you've been playing off the frickin'
    ladies' tees!"
     
    #16878
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    I’ve just bought Pavarotti’s old camper van.

    It's a Nissan dormer.
     
    #16879
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,301
    Likes Received:
    294,201
    A farmer had three beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first young man came to the door and said '' I'm Eddie, im here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?'
    " NO." The second boy came to the door and said ''I'm Joe. Im here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
    "NO". The third boy came to the door and said to the farmer ''hello my name is Chuck''
    ....the farmer shot Chuck
     
    #16880

Share This Page