I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling her breasts she began to lose patience and said. "Come on, what day was I born"? I replied, “Yesterday."
A taxi was driving through a lower class town area, in the back of the taxi was a lady and her 12 year old son, he said "Mum, why are all these ladies standing in shop doorways? She said," oh, they're just waiting on there husband's coming home from work". The taxi driver says "why don't you tell him the truth, they're on the game, they sell sex for money"! The boy said "Is that true mum?, she says" I'm afraid so ". The boy says," if one of these ladies has a baby, what happens to it?, Mum says "It becomes a taxi driver……
Dwayne Peel flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi boy play Rugby. He is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over and sign for the Scarlets, with an eye on Welsh Selection in time for the Rugby World Cup. Two weeks later, the Scarlets are 16-0 down to Cardiff Blues with only 20 minutes left, the young Iraqi gets the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 2 tries, sets up another 2 and kicks 4 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for the Scarlets. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the rugby media love the new star. When the lad comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in Welsh Rugby. 'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 16-0 down but I scored 2 tries, set up 2 tries and kicked 4 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.' 'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, beaten up then assaulted, now your brother has joined a gang of drug dealers, and all while you were having such great time.' The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry..' 'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' screams his mum, 'it's your ****ing fault we came to Llanelli in the first place’.
