English lesson… Tsunami - T is silent Psychology - P is silent Knife - K is silent Honest - H is silent Wife - Husband is silent
My wife bet me £10 that I couldn't do a Butterfly impression.... I thought, that's got to be worth a little flutter
Be careful buying stuff on ebay. I ordered a Puffer fish....... and they sent me a Haddock with Asthma.
A mate was going on holiday to Spain and doesn't have that much luck with the ladies and asked what he could do to improve his chances, I said 'when you've got your Speedos on pop a couple of jersey royals into them you'll be amazed at the glances from the ladies and should be onto a winner oh and take a couple of pictures and show me when you're back'.....on returning I said ' well all systems go then'...not really he replied and showed me the pictures I said FFS you were supposed to put them in the front '
I was rubbing an old lamp earlier when a genie popped out and granted me a wish. I asked him to make me irresistible to all women. B*stard turned me into a pair of shoes!