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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.

    "Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly," she said, "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with."

    "That's fair enough," I replied, "When can you start." <laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #14261
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 22, 2023
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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14262
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 23, 2023
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #14263
    kiwiqpr, Jan 23, 2023
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  4. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    #14264
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 23, 2023
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Surely more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 10th caller a winner?
     
    #14265
    kiwiqpr, Jan 23, 2023
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #14266
    kiwiqpr, Jan 23, 2023
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A woman is very distressed because she has not been married very long and yet her husband has lost interest in her. So she goes to see her doctor and relays the problem.
    The doctor doesn't seem worried at all and tells her that it is nothing serious, that her husband has merely lost his animal instincts. The doctor tells her to crumble some dog biscuits on her husband's cereal every morning without telling him, and little by little this will bring out the savage beast in him. He wishes her good luck and tells her to come back in a week with a progress report.
    A week later the woman returns to the doctor, who asks how her husband is.
    "He's dead," she replies.
    "Dead?" the doctor asked.
    "Yes. He was sitting in the driveway cleaning his bum, and I backed over him with the car.''
     
    #14267
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 24, 2023
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    So what happened
    please log in to view this image
     
    #14268
    kiwiqpr, Jan 24, 2023
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #14269
    kiwiqpr, Jan 24, 2023
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  10. IwasanotherwatfordR

    IwasanotherwatfordR Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-1-24_12-15-41.png
     
    #14270
    IwasanotherwatfordR, Jan 24, 2023
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #14271
    kiwiqpr, Jan 24, 2023
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14272
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 25, 2023
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  13. Hammersmith bookie

    Hammersmith bookie Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #14273
    Hammersmith bookie, Jan 25, 2023
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  14. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    #14274
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 25, 2023
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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-1-25_16-55-17.png
     
    #14275
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 25, 2023
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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.

    She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see Dr. Chang, the well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him.

    Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did.

    Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

    Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

    Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
     
    #14276
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 25, 2023
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14277
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 25, 2023
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    When I got home my wife had two Georgia’s friends of hers there
    She winked and said we are up for a foursome
    I went upstairs and came downstairs naked
    Walked into the room cock in hand
    They had tennis rackets in theirs
     
    #14278
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 25, 2023
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #14279
    kiwiqpr, Jan 25, 2023
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #14280
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 26, 2023
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