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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13802
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13803
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    On hearing that my elderly grandfather had passed away, i went straight to my grandparents house to visit my 99 year old grandmother to comfort her. I asked her how my grandfather had died. She said He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning. I was shocked that two people nearly a 100 were still having sex. She replied many years ago we figured out the best time to do it was on a Sunday morning when the church bells started to ring. It was just the right rhythm nice and slow. Nothing too strenuous simply in on the ding and out on the dong.

    She paused and wiped away a tear, he’d still be alive if the bloody ice cream van hadn’t come along…..
     
    #13804
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    While many complain about life in general and the cost of living etc, I am sitting on a sofa that costs £3,500, lovely and cool in front of an air-con unit costing £2,300, watching the latest film on a 70" smart TV that costs £4,000

    Right now, I'm happy, with no worries and not a care in the world, not even the employees at John Lewis, who keep asking me to leave can spoil my day.
     
    #13805
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I took my wife out for our anniversary dinner last night and she kept saying she wanted to pay for the meal.

    "Don't be stupid," I said, "we're halfway down the road now, just keep running".
     
    #13806
  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  10. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I accidentally rubbed some ketchup into my eyes

    Now I have Heinz sight
     
    #13811
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Ugly nurse " Gent in bed 3 has Ludo tattooed on his penis"
    Pretty nurse " Not Ludo dear but Llandudno "
     
    #13812
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #13813
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy went to the train station and asked the ticket office for a one-way ticket to jeopardy.

    The clerk said there's no such place.

    Paddy replied, look, it said on the news last night there's 3000 jobs in jeopardy and i want to get there NOW!!.
     
    #13818
  19. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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