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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    So I arrived at the restaurant a bit early for a family meal.
    "Would you mind waiting for a while?" asked the manager.
    "Not at all," I replied.
    "Good," he said.
    "Take these 2 Coq au Vins over to the couple by the window, then start clearing tables 4 and 7".
     
    #13661
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I start my new job as an apprentice bell ringer tomorrow !

    It's my first day, so they'll just be showing me the ropes.....
     
    #13662
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I should maybe buy her dinner first !

    please log in to view this image
     
    #13663
  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A hungry bloke walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow.......
    He sits at the counter and notices a Jock with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chilli.
    After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the
    hungry bloke bravely asks,
    "If you aren't going to eat that, mind if I do?"
    The old Jock slowly turns his head toward the young bloke and says,
    "Nah, ye can gae ahead."
    Eagerly, the young bloke reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.
    He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.
    The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chilli back into the bowl.
    The old Jock says:- "Aye, that's as far as I got too".
     
    #13665
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's hospital, saying that her husband had treatment there, and afterward, he lost all interest in sex.


    A hospital spokesman replied ... "Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology all we did was correct his eyesight."
     
    #13666

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #13667
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  9. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #13670
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #13671
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #13672
  13. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  15. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  17. Hammersmith bookie

    Hammersmith bookie Well-Known Member

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    I'd love to see it's synopsis for One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest !
     
    #13677
  18. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I once bought a pirate video from a spiv down an alleyway on the promise of goats, long leather boots and nuns…

    …when I got home it was The Sound Of Music.
     
    #13678
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.
    His bookkeeper is deaf and dumb. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.
    When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
    The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
    The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
    Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
    The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
    The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
    The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
    Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
    The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
    The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"
     
    #13679
  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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