FEEL SAFE AT HOME AT LAST! Hi this works 100% !!!! I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre. The local police, MI5 and other intelligence services are all now watching my house 24/7. I've never felt safer. Oh by the way, the beard is coming on a treat.
An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served"...? The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy"... The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order"... The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"... The next day, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones i saw you serve yesterday"... The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins"...
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat. The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right. Her husband said: The cat just died. She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom? Husband: She is playing on the roof.........
I've just been offered a franchise in Texas with a German car manufacturer. My Job Title is Audi Partner.
