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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #12041
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Sometimes you have to be sure.
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    #12042
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12043
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12044
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12045
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12046
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12047
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    RETIREMENT BONUS
    The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000...
    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with £96,000.
    The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'
    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer.
    The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em,' which he did.
    The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
    The Old Chief calmly replied, ' The Falkland Islands'.
     
    #12048
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just got a job for Halloween making plastic Draculas.

    There's only two of us on the production line, so I've got to make every second count.....
     
    #12049
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12050
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  11. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

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    A repeat joke? :)
     
    #12051
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Finally got an appointment for my prostate examination.
    Don’t forget to badger the NHS for yours too all those lovely ladies out there.
     
    #12052
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12053
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  14. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    I could have helped you kiwi
     
    #12054
  15. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I was halfway through having a prostrate examination last week when I realised that both the doctor’s hands were on my shoulders.
     
    #12055
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12056
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  17. Eamon Holmes

    Eamon Holmes Well-Known Member

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  18. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Shouldn’t you have posted this on the Medical thread?
    Did you sing, Moon River! as they checked the status of you prostate?
     
    #12058
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I went to the bookstore and saw a book called; 'How to solve 50% of your problems. ' I bought two.
     
    #12059
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12060
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