Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

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A man was in a queue at his local supermarket. As he got to the checkout he realised that he'd forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register:
She asked. "What size condoms?"
The customer said that he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom. "One box of large condoms, Till 5."
The next man in line thought that this was interesting and like most of us was up for a cheap thrill.
When he got up to the checkout, he told the cashier that he too had forgotten to get condoms and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.
She asked him what size, and he said that he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom microphone and said. "One box of medium sized condoms, Till 5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy, who thought that what he had seen was so cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a woman, and he thought "this is my chance."
When he got to the checkout he told the girl that he needed some condoms.
She asked him what size and he said that he didn’t know.
She asked him to drop his trousers, reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the Intercom and said…....
"Mop and bucket, till 5."

 

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Paddy , Seamus , and murphy wanted to get into the Olympics but the tickets were all sold out . Looking round they saw a construction site. Paddy said " Ive got a great idea " and proceded to share his idea with his friends . Paddy picks up a long piece of scaffolding , walks to the competitors entrance and says " Im here for the pole vault " and security let him in . Seamus finds a manhole cover and proceeds to the entrance and says " Im here for the discus .Murphy goes over to the entrance carrying a roll of barbed wire . The security guard asks " What are you here for ?" . Paddy replies " Fencing " . !

 

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Bill, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day" replied Bill.
"I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep.
When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection.
Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection.
So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
"I see" said his wife, "that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?"
Bill replied: "Wrong room."

 

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