Teacher: "What does your dad do for a living?" Student: "He is a magician." Teacher: "What is his favourite trick?" Student: "He cuts people in two." Teacher: "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" Student: "One half brother and one half sister."
A woman is in court for stealing a tin of peaches. The judge asked her "how many peaches were there in the tin that you stole"? She replied "four, your honour". The judge said I am going to send you to prison for four month's for every peach, take her down. Then her husband in the public gallery shouted "Your honour, I'd also like to add, she stole a tin of peas too!!"
