Had a rather strange kebab last night it was all Kidneys and Liver. It must have been a Donor Kebab .
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the FATHER. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands' blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the milkman was dead on the porch.
An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!! Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great! By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?" His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the lid on your coffin was closed." please log in to view this image
I haven’t wasted my time during lockdown. I’ve learnt how to write hello in Mandarin..... please log in to view this image
A Cadbury’s lorry has just overturned and spilled it’s load all over the place. The roads are chocablock.
