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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

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    Save up your next w**k for Thursday at 8pm so it sounds like your whole street is cheering you on :)
     
    #9101
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9102
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Someone looked at me in Asda today, and shouted "SIX FEET !!!"

    I replied "6' 2", but good guess"
     
    #9103
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9104
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9105
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    2020 Holiday Photos

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    #9106
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went into a caravan showroom the other day and said to the salesman:

    "I'd like to buy a motorhome."

    He said "Camper?"

    I said "Oooo, get you, I'd like to buy a motorhome, sweety."
     
    #9107
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just watched a TV programme about tomato growing.

    It was on one of the ketchup channels.
     
    #9108
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9109
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire telling stories of their bravado.
    Tom, the hand from Wyoming, says, “I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is. The other day a bull got loose in the corral. It gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth.”
    Ben, from Idaho, can’t stand to be bested. “That’s nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday, and a 15-foot diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, sucked the poison down in one gulp, and didn’t even get a bellyache.”
    Old Snake River Frank, the cowboy from Texas, remains silent, slowly stoking the campfire coals with his penis.
     
    #9110
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9111
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9112
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  14. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    I bought one of those George Formby grills. The steak turned out nice.
     
    #9114
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9115
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9116
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Ruddy internet <doh>
     
    #9117
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2020
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    She takes her car to the nearest garage and asks for advice. The mechanic, seeing an opportunity, tells her that the best way to remove the dents is to blow up the exhaust.

    Courtney drives home and later that day, her flat mate hears huffing and puffing coming from outside. She goes out to investigate and sees Courtney on her hands and knees blowing as hard as she can in to the exhaust.

    "What you doing?" asks her flat mate. "Oh the man at the garage said I could remove the dents by blowing up the exhaust". Her flat mate bursts in to laughter her eyes streaming and says, "You'll never do it, Courtney', you've left the windows open".
     
    #9118
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9119
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9120
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