1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

Page 452 of 942
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    I just begged for an appointment about my gambling addiction.

    Fortunately they had a slot.
     
    #9021
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 14, 2020
    Didley Squat, ELLERS, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    Just read a survey stating that 75% of people are stupid.

    I'm feeling rather smug that I'm obviously in the other 40%!
     
    #9022
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 14, 2020
    Didley Squat, ELLERS, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    I've just cleaned my fridge and now everything is at least 2 inches apart.

    I am shelf isolating.........
     
    #9023
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 14, 2020
    Didley Squat, ELLERS, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9024
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 14, 2020
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  5. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    18,613
    Likes Received:
    28,533
    D65F7D98-957E-4135-9247-0385E9859C6D.jpeg
     
    #9025
    Uber_Hoop, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.
  6. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    18,613
    Likes Received:
    28,533
     
    #9026
    Uber_Hoop, Apr 15, 2020
    kiwiqpr, Wooperts_duck and Wherever like this.
  7. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2011
    Messages:
    14,593
    Likes Received:
    9,393
    I am currently reading a horror story in Braille, I can feel the tension rising.
     
    #9027
    GroveRanger, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9028
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr, ELLERS and 1 other person like this.
  9. ELLERS

    ELLERS Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    22,785
    Likes Received:
    11,186
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9029
    ELLERS, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr, Ranger4ever and 2 others like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    Diane Abbott is suing Tesco for putting her signature on their hot cross buns without prior consent.
     
    #9030
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr, Ninj and 1 other person like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    The new Nightingale hospital in Glasgow has been renamed .... ICU Jimmy
     
    #9031
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, surreyhoop, kiwiqpr and 2 others like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    Had a terrifying experience last night.

    I was alone in the house having a bath.....when all of a sudden.....I felt a tap on my shoulder.
     
    #9032
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat and kiwiqpr like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9033
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr, ELLERS and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9034
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and Uber_Hoop like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9035
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and Uber_Hoop like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    I left work late last night.

    As I locked up the doors, I turned around and saw a giant apple turnover just lying in the street.

    Just down the road, there was a huge bowl of jelly and on the street corner there was a two story Chocolate sundae.

    I thought to myself, "the streets are strangely desserted tonight".
     
    #9036
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Ninj, Didley Squat, surreyhoop and 3 others like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9037
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Ninj, Didley Squat, Uber_Hoop and 1 other person like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    I'm new at this fishing lark. Do I really have to keep maggots in my mouth?

    I await your answers with bated breath!
     
    #9038
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Ninj, Didley Squat and kiwiqpr like this.
  19. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2011
    Messages:
    18,613
    Likes Received:
    28,533
     
    #9039
    Uber_Hoop, Apr 15, 2020
    Number 1 Jasper, kiwiqpr and Wooperts_duck like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,423
    I spoke to Elvis about morrisons, sainsburys, Tescos, and Aldi.

    It was a lidl less conversation.
     
    #9040
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2020
    Ninj, Didley Squat, Uber_Hoop and 1 other person like this.
Page 452 of 942

Share This Page