A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 survivors; Damian, Darren and Deirdre. They manage to swim to a small island and they lived there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do. After several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed herself. It was tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get through it and, after a while, nature once more took its inevitable course. Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So they buried Deirdre.
So, I was in the chemist and I said to the assistant, "What gets rid of coronavirus?” She said, "Ammonia cleaner." I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!"
Three prisoners of war escape and are on the run. Needing somewhere to hide they spot a barn in a field and decide to stay there for the night. Early the next morning they are woken up to the sound of German soldiers surrounding the barn. The English soldier says "Quick chaps, hide inside those sacks in the corner" and quick as a flash each soldier gets into the burlap sack. The German officer comes in and orders his men to search the barn, finding nothing all attention is on the sacks. The German officer says "Corporal, use your bayonet and stab that first sack" just as he's about to carry out the order the English soldier goes "Baaa baaaaa" "Halt!" shouts the officer "Zat is clearly a bag with a sheep inside, move on to the other one" as the Corporal is about to stab into the second sack the Scotsman inside goes "mooooo moooooo" "Halt!" shouts the officer "Zat is clearly a sack with a cow inside, move on to that last one" as the Corporal is about to stab the third sack the Irish soldier shouts out "Potato!"
The World best Sheepdog was sold at auction this week. It went for £18,750. But was rounded up to £19,000
