Supermarket shelves are full of white sugar, but not so much of brown sugar. Is it because demerara ?...........
A Policeman is walking his beat through the local park when he sees a very old man sitting on a bench crying his eyes out, he goes over and askes him what's the matter "It's like this" the old duffer says "I am 85 but recently got married to the most stunning woman. She's 21 with long shapely tanned legs, perfect hourglass figure with the most amazing set of tits. She is the most beautiful looking creature I have ever met and she wakes me up every morning with a blow job and a nice cup of tea, she cooks me the most amazing dinners and sits on my face for afters. Her hair is long and blonde and she's got a pussy you'd die for!" The Policeman gives him a knowing wink and says "So I suppose you've forgotten where you live then?" "No" says the chap "I just found out she supports Chelsea!"
Paddy and Mick live next door to each other in identical houses and anything Paddy gets Mick has to have the same. When Paddy got Sky a week later Mick had a dish put up, when Paddy painted the outside Mick soon followed suit, when Paddy bought a BMW the following week Mick did the same. This went for the inside of the houses to, every time Paddy bought a new TV Mick went straight out and got the same model. If Paddy bought a new 3 piece suite Mick had to have the same. Mick looked out of his window to see a van parked up and nosed at the curtains until he saw a man in white overalls pack up steps, paint tins and paste tables. The next day Mick peered through Paddy's window to see that the decorator had put new wallpaper all round the living room. He clocked the pattern and went on line to see how much it cost. "Jaysus, he's only gone and had 100 euro a roll wall paper put up! That ****e is going to cost me a feckin' fortune!" Next day Mick hears Paddy start up his lawn mower so goes to his matching shed and starts to mow his lawn with an exact matching machine. When they are both done Mick leans over the fence and says "Hey there neighbour, see you had the decorators in to do some wallpaper, I was thinking of doing the same in my house, do you know how many rolls of paper you bought" "Sure I do" says Paddy "I bought 15 rolls of that there wallpaper" "Ah that's grand, cheers me old mucker" says Mick and he goes on line and orders the paper & calls up a decorator to book in the work. The job gets finished but at the end of it Mick has 5 rolls of wallpaper left over. He can't believe it so goes and knocks on his neighbour's door "Hey there Paddy, I went and got the same paper as you but at the end I had 5 feckin rolls left" Paddy says "Ah now there's a funny thing, I had 5 rolls left over too!"
