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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I used to work in New York in a factory that recycled old shoes.it was a boring job just standing pulling a handle on the machine all day but I tried to cheer myself up each morning with a little song."start shredding the shoes..I'm levering today"
     
    #7001
    Uber_Hoop, Jul 18, 2019
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  2. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Fixed a go pro camera on my shoe this morning and went for a jog.
    Got some interesting footage.
     
    #7002
    Uber_Hoop, Jul 18, 2019
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  3. Queens Park Stranger

    Queens Park Stranger Well-Known Member

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    skid risk.jpg
     
    #7003
    Queens Park Stranger, Jul 18, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The wife said she's leaving me due to my obsession with 80's music.


    I said " oh, come on Eileen " .
     
    #7004
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #7005
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7006
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My mate confessed to me that he has a weird habit of colouring in the tops of peoples arms...

    I think he was just looking for a shoulder to crayon!
     
    #7007
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7008
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Little Johnny was playing with something in the road, and his local priest came up to him and said "Hello little Johnny what are you playing with?" Little Johnny said "Sulphuric Acid."
    Father Walsh said "you mustn't play with that, it's dangerous."
    Little Johnny said "I don't tell you not to play with holy water."
    Father Walsh said " No, because holy water is good.
    The other day I put holy water on a pregnant woman's tummy and she passed a baby boy."
    "That's nothing" Little johnny said "The other day I put Sulphuric acid on my dogs bollocks and he passed a Ferrari."
     
    #7009
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Went to a muslim stag do the other night. It was wild. The stripper got her face out for the lads.
     
    #7010
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  11. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Racist :)
     
    #7011
    Uber_Hoop, Jul 18, 2019
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Steve Bruce has promised that Newcastle will definitely take part in a major European competition next year..............even if he has to write the song himself !!
     
    #7012
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2019
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  13. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I used to go out with a parachutist who had IBS, but she shat on me from a great height.
     
    #7013
    Uber_Hoop, Jul 19, 2019
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  14. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    7BAD9DCF-A5F5-4905-A343-92F6069B962E.jpeg
     
    #7014
    Uber_Hoop, Jul 19, 2019
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  15. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Mildly amusing...

     
    #7015
    Uber_Hoop, Jul 19, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7016
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.

    After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

    To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight !"
    Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.

    Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

    After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

    To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean £200 !!
     
    #7017
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7018
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7019
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7020
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2019
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