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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Good one
     
    #6681
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  2. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I’d heard it before, but always raises a chortle!
     
    #6682
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Alright you two jokers - I blame the IT system for posting the same message twice <doh> :)
     
    #6683
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6684
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Piece of advice:

    If you are ever attacked by a group of clowns.....

    Go for the juggler ...
     
    #6685
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6686
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Sunderland have done their team photo early this year.........

    please log in to view this image


     
    #6687
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Queen accused of sending subtle "coded message" to Donald Trump with her choice of hat.....


    please log in to view this image
     
    #6688
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    One day, a man walked into a dentist's surgery and asked how much it would cost to extract a wisdom tooth.
    "Forty quid," the dentist said.
    "That's a ridiculous amount," the man said. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
    "Well," the dentist said, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock the price down to 30 pounds."
    Looking annoyed, the man said, "That's still far too expensive!"
    "Okay," said the dentist. "If I save on time and simply rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to 10 pounds."
    "Nope," moaned the man, "it's still too much."
    "Well," said the dentist finally, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it using pliers, I suppose I can knock the price down to a fiver."

    "Marvelous!" said the man. "Book my wife in for next Tuesday!"
     
    #6689
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6690

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I travel around fairgrounds and tell the owners when their coconut stalls are getting too old.

    I'm the shy retiring type.
     
    #6691
  12. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend said her pussy tasted like a rainbow. Unfortunately, it turned out that she meant trout and not Skittles.
     
    #6692
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6693
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was allowed a final minute with my wife.
    I said "Listen Jo, prison is a horrible place that changes people for the worse, and when I come out I doubt I'll be the same man you know and love. For that reason, I don't expect you to wait for me, so get on with your life and try and meet someone else who can hopefully be a father to our children. Most of all though, just stay strong and be happy."

    "Stay strong?" my wife snapped, "You're only doing a week for an unpaid parking ticket, you fu*king twat!"
     
    #6694
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A 73-yr-old woman is in court for streaking at the Chelsea Flower show.

    She was let off with a caution but was awarded 1st prize for best dried bush arrangement......
     
    #6695
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    West Hams new home kit leaked.........

    please log in to view this image
     
    #6696
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If you have pet insurance do you get a courtesy dog when yours goes to the vets?
     
    #6697
  18. IwasanotherwatfordR

    IwasanotherwatfordR Well-Known Member

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    What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom ?

    ...... a pickpocket snatches watches.
     
    #6698
  19. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    My wife said she's leaving me, because I'm too old fashioned.

    I'll wager a Guinea, she's cavorting with another gentleman behind my back.
     
    #6699
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  20. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I'm not a competitive person...

    And I'll be the first to admit it.
     
    #6700
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