I was in Turkey last week on holiday and came across one of those Turkish bath houses. They shaved with a solid steel stoneground razor from below the neckline, inside the ears, snipped out nose hairs, waxed off chest hairs and plucked all the hairs out of the arse crack, all finished off with a moustache trim and alcohol rub. Honestly, the wife's never looked so good!
I'm having regular sex with a blind woman. The sex is great but it ain't easy getting her husband's voice right !!!
I bumped into an old mate in town earlier. I asked him what he was up to nowadays. "I cook meals for the homeless, drug addicts, people with addictions to gambling and alcohol, that sort of thing". "Charity work ?" "No, Wetherspoons"
An Aussie guy went out duck hunting and a gust of wind blew, his gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in his private parts. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local, to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot." "What's the bad news?" asked the hunter. "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister." "Well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. . She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye.
Caster Semenya has expressed her anger and disappointment at the IAAF's decision to limit natural occurring testosterone levels in female athletes " This is a real kick in the bollocks for me" said Semenya
Hey guys, so I’m here to say goodbye to this group which I love so much. My wife says I’m in this group every 2 seconds and she can’t stand it anymore. We argued and she told me to choose between her or the group. So I'm gonna be offline for a couple hours while I pack her bags and call her a taxi ! I'll be right back......
There hasn't been a 2nd leg thrown away in Liverpool this convincing since Paul McCartney had a blazing row with Heather Mills...
