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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    me three
     
    #6401
    kiwiqpr, Apr 16, 2019
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6402
    kiwiqpr, Apr 16, 2019
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6403
    kiwiqpr, Apr 16, 2019
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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Diane Abbott has stated today that if Labour gets into power she will cancel funding to the Paralympics, because after what those Paras did to Jeremy Corbyn, it’s not fair that they should have their own Olympics.....
     
    #6404
    kiwiqpr, Apr 16, 2019
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  5. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    How embarrassing! I thought it was ****! :)
     
    #6405
    Uber_Hoop, Apr 16, 2019
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  6. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Some weather presenters really love their job ..........

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    #6406
    Didley Squat, Apr 17, 2019
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

    After a few minutes of flirting, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

    He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

    Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It has to be your ears."

    Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin, not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

    Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...That was me."
     
    #6407
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6408
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6409
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6410
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2019
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Stood there for 3 hours waiting......

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    #6411
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2019
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6412
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2019
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6413
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2019
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  14. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Ain’t that the ****ing truth (said Uber through gritted teeth).
     
    #6414
    Uber_Hoop, Apr 18, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Never mind Brexit ......

    The whole of Manchester left Europe in 2 days.....
     
    #6415
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 18, 2019
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Brand new Lip Augmentation: now offered at LIDL as l understand it.
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    #6416
    kiwiqpr, Apr 18, 2019
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6417
    kiwiqpr, Apr 18, 2019
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night. Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer.
    He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'
    The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answer. Her husband keeps reminding her, "The head, heart and penis."
    Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, "For $100,000, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds."
    "Um... the head."
    "Good. Eight seconds."
    "Um... the heart."
    "That's right. Five seconds."
    "Oh... um... damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..."
    "That's close enough! You've won $100,000!"
     
    #6418
    kiwiqpr, Apr 18, 2019
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6419
    kiwiqpr, Apr 18, 2019
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  20. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    My wife came in shouting "We've won the roll over!"
    Unfortunately she was talking about a competition for a coach holiday.
     
    #6420
    UTRs, Apr 19, 2019
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