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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. IwasanotherwatfordR

    IwasanotherwatfordR Well-Known Member

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  2. IwasanotherwatfordR

    IwasanotherwatfordR Well-Known Member

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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    "A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset.
    _"You are a disrespectful pig!"_ she cried. _"How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce, NOW!"_
    The husband calmly replied, _"Hang on just a minute love. At least let me tell you what happened."_
    _"Fine, go ahead",_ the wife sobbed, _"but they will be the last words you say to me!"_
    The husband began:
    _"Well, as I was getting into the car at work to drive home, this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so distressed, helpless and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car."_
    _"She was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty and told me that she hadn't eaten for three days."_
    _"Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the pizza I made for you last night that you wouldn’t eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing ate it, ravenously."_
    _"She was dirty. I suggested she have a shower. While showering, I noticed her clothes were filthy and threadbare. I threw them away."_
    _"I gave her the designer jeans that you’ve had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight."_
    _"I gave her underwear, your anniversary present from me, which you don’t wear because you said I don't have good taste."_
    _"I gave her the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her. I also donated those boots you bought at an expensive boutique but don’t wear because someone at work has the same pair."_
    The husband paused, took a quick breath and continued:
    _"She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, *“Please sir... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
     
    #6283
  4. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Joke of the Year.
    Tim Sherwood to be manager.
     
    #6284
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6285
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation... I'm worried ****less.
     
    #6287
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My mate lost both his hands in a horrible accident...
    I can't even begin to imagine how he feels!
     
    #6288
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6289
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6290
    Makemstine Roger and Uber_Hoop like this.

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6294
  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A 73 yr old woman is in court for streaking at the Chelsea Flower show. She was let off with a caution but was awarded 1st prize for best dried bush arrangement.!!
     
    #6296
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I got a new job with the Samaritans last week.......
    I tried to phone in sick this morning but the ****ers talked me out of it......!!!
     
    #6298
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My doctor told me to take two tablets every four hours and now I'm banned from PC World
     
    #6300
    Makemstine Roger and Uber_Hoop like this.

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