I just found a carrier bag with an Arsenal football shirt in it lying abandoned on the pavement - I can't believe it's been thrown away. Those bags are worth 5p now...
A 1 million pound prize was offered to any university who could explain why the end of a mans penis is helmet shaped. The university of Cambridge concluded it was to give the man more pleasure. The university of Oxford concluded it was to give the woman more pleasure. The university of Dublin spent the afternoon in the pub and concluded it was to stop your hand from Slipping Off.
Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors.
I was at a funeral yesterday when I asked the priest for the WiFi code. He shouted, "Have some respect for the dead." I said, "Is that all in lower case?"
