My wife complained no one ever calls her. I've solved the problem by putting a "How's my driving?" sticker on the back of her car.
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel Special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 18 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 18 inches. Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the Africa string and weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis. A few days later the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?" Husband replies, "Well, it looks like we are half way there." Wife says, "Wow, you mean it's grown to 9 inches?" After a pause, her husband replies, "No, it's turned black..."
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel Special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 18 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 18 inches. Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the Africa string and weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis. A few days later the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?" Husband replies, "Well, it looks like we are half way there." Wife says, "Wow, you mean it's grown to 9 inches?" After a pause, her husband replies, "No, it's turned black..."
Jose Mourinho has just promised Man United fans that they will be in a major European competition next year. Even if he has to write the song himself.
