Some Egyptian bloke just pulled up in a BMW, beeped his horn and bared his naked arse out of the window. Bloody toot and car moon!
If you leave a child in your car during this hot weather please ensure a window is open so they can at least have a ***.
Heard this one on the radio this morning...... A snail fed up with his slow pace goes to a car show room to buy a car. He asks the salesman to paint a big letter "S" on the car paint work, this is done and as he drives off people look at him and exclaim "Look at that L'escargot".......... I'll get my coat
I tried to make my racing snail go faster by removing his shell, Tramore. But, if anything, he was more sluggish afterwards.
Did you hear about the tortoise that was mugged by a gang of snails? The policeman asked if he might remember any of his assailants, to which he replied,”no, it all happened too quickly for me”.
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?” The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex. “Oh I see,” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.” He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, “Why are there three in this package.” The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”“Cool!” says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks “Then who are these for?” “Those are for college men.” the dad answers, “Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.” “WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses these?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…”.
An old man is checking in at a Las Vegas hotel and when reaching for his wallet to pay he elbows the woman standing behind him right in the tit. He turns and immediately apologises to her saying "My dear, if your heart is as soft as your breast I know you will forgive me" The lady then says "well if your cock is as hard as your elbow I'm in room 502"
