Accordion to a recent survey replacing words with names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected .....
was going into my local Asda when a group of kids about 14 years old asked me to get them 20 Richmond', I agreed & took their money, I came out & handed them to the biggest lad, they promptly started shouting abuse at me, next time they can get their own sausages.
I gave my wife £50 and told her to go out on Thursday and leave me in peace while I watch the World Cup. "I won't need that much," she laughed. "You will," I said. "It's got to last you five weeks."
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat. As soon as she arrived there, she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right. Her husband said, "The cat just died." She burst into tears and said, "How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how's mother?" "She's playing on the roof." he replied!!..
