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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3761
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3762
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Winnie Mandela memorabilia now available !
     
    #3763
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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    “You’re sure that’s the right word?”

    “80%, Yeah”

    “Print it.”

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    #3764
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3765
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north.
    After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
    'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
    'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
    Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
    They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
    But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
    He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, 'Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'
    'Yes, I do.' Said Keith.
    'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
    'Well, um, yes!,' Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
    'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
    Keith's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
    'She just died and left me everything....
     
    #3766
  7. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  8. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    #3768
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Manchester City's new sponsorship deal with tinder looks like its working.

    They have been f*cked twice in 4 days.........
     
    #3769
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3770

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • A man is sitting in a pub in Ireland suddenly he feels a gun being pointed at his back.
    • "Catholic or Protestant?" asks the voice
    • ."Jew," replies the man, calmly.
    • "Cor," replies the man with the gun, "I must be the luckiest Arab in Ireland!"
     
    #3771
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • Alan Pardew was out shopping when he spied a little, old, mentally handicapped cripple with one arm and one leg, struggling with his heavy shopping. Feeling "Samaritan like", he said "Excuse me friend, but can you manage?"

    • "Yes" he replied "and so much f*cking better than you can"
     
    #3772
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Not seen Scousers this happy over one leg, since Paul McCartney met Heather Mills.
     
    #3773
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    E.T.I.H.A.D.

    Eleven Twats In Hiding After Defeat
     
    #3774
  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3775
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3776
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Poor families burying relatives in their back garden because they cannot afford a funeral, MP claims.

    That's what I told the jury ten years ago after my wife committed suicide by stabbing herself in the back seven times.
     
    #3777
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3778
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3779
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    You won't be hearing from me for a while.

    The police are investigating me for stealing swimming pool inflatables... I gotta lilo
     
    #3780

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