I spotted the council inspecting pot holes the other day. Apparently they're not bad enough to do anything with them yet. please log in to view this image
I bumped into J K Rowling yesterday so I asked her about Harry's father, and she thinks it's James Hewitt too !
Sad news....... the managing director of Dulux paints has died of hypothermia while trecking across the Antarctic. Paramedics said he could have done with another coat.......
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful f*cker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Paddy goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain.... Doctor says "I can't find anything wrong with you Paddy , it must be the drinking?"... Paddy replies "I'll come back when you're sober Doctor".
I deny I was a ‘useful idiot’ for the Soviet Union. No-one, but no-one, has ever referred to me as ‘useful’. #AgentCob
Just in Blackpool, saw a guy & woman shouting then fighting. A copper turned up but instead of calming things down he starts twatting the guy with a baton! The guy gets the baton and starts hitting the copper AND his wife! Then this crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages.