Terrible day. Parked my red Tesla convertible outside Cape Canaveral Space Center and I’m pretty sure it’s been towed.
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But , A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hardwork and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there. It's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top. Now you know why Politicians are where they are !
The local Chinese to me are having a special tomorrow on Insect legs. I couldn't believe it when I first saw it but apparently, they're the "bees knees!".
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Jon and Matt have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Jon says, “Hey, Matt, there’s the Officers Club. Let’s you and me stop in. ” “But were privates,” protests Matt. “Were sergeants now,” says Jon, pulling him inside. “Now, Matt, I’m gonna sit down and have a drink.” “But were privates,” says Matt. “You blind?” Asks Jon, pointing at his stripes. “Were sergeants are now.” So they have their drinks, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Jon. “You’r cute,” she says, “and I’d like to screw you, but I’ve got a bad case of gonorrhea.” Jon pulls his friend to the side and whispers, “Matt, go look in the dictionary and see what” gonorrhea “means. If it’s okay, give me the okay sign. ” So Matt goes to look up, comes back, and gives Jon the big okay sign. Three weeks later Jon is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. “Matt,” he says, “Why’d you give me the okay?” “Well, Jon, in the dictionary, it’s gonorrhea affects only the privates.” He points to his stripes. “But were sergeants now.”
