You know that council house in town with 500 Giga-Watts of 'tasteful' Christmas lights outside? They're the twats that'll be tweeting about 'fuel poverty' in January and blaming the evil Tories.
And the award for The World’s ****test Suicide Pipe Bomber goes to - this cockwomble. Blew his gonads off and didn’t even get to paradise. #Manhattanpic.twitter.com/FFBrWRQBzY please log in to view this image
What is the difference between Liverpool and a jar of flowers? You can see a jar of flowers on top of a table.
Two Tories talking at the bar in a country club, One says I'm a Country Member, the other one says , yes I remember
Every Christmas I'd come running downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as I could. Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best toys but we would all make up later and sit down to have a three hour lunch before watching TV for the rest of the day. I really love working at the Royal Mail sorting office!
Historians in Ireland have discovered what they believe to be the headstone of the oldest ever living man. He was 193 and his name was Miles from Dublin.
