Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

All the toilets in my office don't flush properly..

"Ballcocks ?"

You try taking a dump then..

 

all the big container ships are having trouble getting unloaded here
small docks
no waters too shallow

 

" Just been reading about an Australian ex Leeds Utd player who suffered throughout his career with a foot wart "

" You mean verruca "

" No, it was Harry Kewell "

 

Saw the northern lights last night
Borealis?
No, I was in Newcastle

 

I met a QPR legend last night
Bowles
I did

 

"Our local vicar gave an amazing sermon last Sunday from that box-thingy he stands in"

"Pulpit?"

"Well, you weren't there!"

 

"My little kid really enjoys the play areas in those Charlie Chalk pubs"

"Ball pit?"

"OK, OK, he gets bored after five minutes!"

 

"I want to buy some deodorant please."

"Ball or aerosol?"

"Neither, I want it for my armpits..."

 

"I was listening to that Laura bird singing 'Gloria' whilst eating breakfast this morning..."

"Brannigan?"

"Nope, Sugar Puffs for a change."

 

Of course. I only quote the best...

 

Was standing behind Harry Redknapp in Boots this morning and he asked for some shampoo.

The girl said " Pantene?"

Old Harry replied " fack me, that's cheap I'll have two "

 

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Is that Taraabt?

 

" so you came back pissed , pulled something out of the garden pond and shagged it "

" Amphibian "

" I newt, you lying bastard "

 

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And if you can come then don't come.

 

"I was given a pair of football boots by a former German International...."
"Ballack's?"
"No, from his team mate"
"Kuntz"
"Harsh, but fair"

 

"I can't believe the shops are already selling Christmas decorations"
"Baubles?"
"No, it's true"