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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #2941
    kiwiqpr, Aug 24, 2017
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    9:30am and the office fat-bird is on her 4th can of coke. She says obesity runs in her family, I said "No love, nobody runs in your family"
     
    #2942
    kiwiqpr, Aug 24, 2017
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #2943
    kiwiqpr, Aug 24, 2017
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  4. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    Naahaha not going for that
     
    #2944
    Wherever, Aug 24, 2017
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    it was in the paper
    it must be true
     
    #2945
    kiwiqpr, Aug 24, 2017
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I see the results of Bruce Forsyth's autopsy are out, and he had a seizure: a nice to seizure, to seizure...nice!

    sorry
     
    #2946
    kiwiqpr, Aug 24, 2017
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  7. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    "I went sea fishing the other day and caught loads"
    "Pollock?"
    "No it's true"
     
    #2947
    GroveRanger, Aug 25, 2017
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  8. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    I saw lots of male witches
    Warlocks
    No it's true
     
    #2948
    Wherever, Aug 25, 2017
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  9. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

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    I've got 50 jars of a malted milk beverage in my cupboard.

    'Horlicks?'

    No it's true.
     
    #2949
    surreyhoop, Aug 25, 2017
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  10. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    That's the first time I've been in a cart pulled by cows
    Bullocks sir
    No it's true ( Carry on up the khyber)
     
    #2950
    Wherever, Aug 25, 2017
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  11. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

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    I've got a phd in crustaceanology.

    'Molluscs?'

    No its true... :)
     
    #2951
    surreyhoop, Aug 25, 2017
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  12. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I've got a pair of testicles...
     
    #2952
    Uber_Hoop, Aug 25, 2017
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  13. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    Gonads?
     
    #2953
    Wherever, Aug 25, 2017
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  14. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Chelsea have drawn Qarabag in their Champions League draw...

    If you're wondering who they are...

    They're a small team from London. :)
     
    #2954
    Uber_Hoop, Aug 25, 2017
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  15. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    No, she went of her own accord. :)
     
    #2955
    Uber_Hoop, Aug 25, 2017
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  16. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Don't you just hate spelling mistakes?

    You get two letters round the wrong way and the whole sentence is urined. :)
     
    #2956
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2017
    Uber_Hoop, Aug 27, 2017
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A bloke goes into the Barbers, the Barber is in a mood and a right miserable git
    He sits down and the Barber says "Going on holiday then"?
    The guy replies "Yes ,me and the wife are going to Rome", the Barber says "I wouldn't bother mate, we went last month and it was ****, who are you flying with Al Italia"?
    The guy replies "Yes"
    The Barber says "We flew with them ,they were ****, I bet you're going to the Vatican to see the Pope as well"?
    The guy replies "Yes, me and the wife are devout Catholics"
    The Barber says "I knew it ,so predictable, me and the wife went there, it was ****"
    A couple of months go by and one morning the bloke walks into the Barbers,the Barber recognises him and says "You're the guy who went to Rome, **** isn't it"?
    The guy replies "Actually it was wonderful, the weather, people and the food were all fabulous"
    "What about Al Italia, they're **** aren't they"? said the Barber
    "Actually we got upgraded and the flight was great" replies the guy
    "How was the Vatican then? I bet it was ****" asks the Barber
    The guy replies "Actually it was brilliant, the Swiss Guard came out and selected me and the wife and ten other people for a private audience with His Holiness, we were taken into his private study, where we held prayers and then the Pope laid his hand on our heads and blessed us"
    The Barber asks "Did he say anything to you"?
    The guy said "Yes, he said "Who the hell cut your hair? it's ****ing ****!"
     
    #2957
    kiwiqpr, Aug 28, 2017
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #2958
    kiwiqpr, Aug 29, 2017
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #2959
    kiwiqpr, Aug 29, 2017
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  20. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    My email password has been hacked again.
    That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
     
    #2960
    UTRs, Aug 29, 2017
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