The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed. Joseph said, "write that down, Mary - it"s better than Dave!"
Mary had a little skirt with a slit right up both sides, And everytime that Mary walked you could see her lovely thighs, Mary had another skirt with a slit right up the front, She didn't wear that one as often.........
A little girl goes to the barbers with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a cake while her dad gets his hair cut. The Barber smiles at her and says "You"re gonna get hair on your muffin." "I know" she says, "I"m gonna get tits too"
There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, but only one Superman. So, an answer to your question. It's probably a bird.
This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about 5 or 6 whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal antlers on the wall with. He asks the barman "What the f*ck is that?" The barman says "It"s a Moose" The Scottish chap says "Fu*k me! How big are the cats!?
Apparently double-barrelled names come about when both parents want to keep their surnames, according to my friend Paddy Murphy-Murphy.
I went on a date the other evening. I said, "So, are you a vampire?" "No," she said, with a puzzled look on her face. I said, "So you can see your reflection and you still come out looking like that?"
A man was walking down the street, when suddenly he was hit by a car. A policeman that attended the scene said to the injured man, " Did you get a look at the driver?""No. " said the man, "but I can tell you it was my wife." "How"s that ?"asked the policeman. And the man said, " I"d recognise her laugh anywhere."
I went to the shop today and I was only in there for 5 minutes, when I came out there was a parking attendant writing a ticket out, so I called him a fu*king *anker. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres so I called him an arsehole. He finished with the 2nd and then started writing a 3rd ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care anyway, my car was parked around the corner.
