Premier League, Tynecastle. Two 1-0 defeats on the bounce (against Motherwell and Inverness) and it's pretty much back to doom and gloom for Aberdeen. It probably shouldn't be, though, as these defeats came on the back of a thirteen or fourteen match unbeaten run. Most of these matches were drawn, true, but making yourself hard to beat is not exactly A Bad Thing, is it? Winning at Tynecastle today would help cement our grip on the much sought after 8th place and may even allow us to make an offer for number 7. The views are spectacular from there, I'm led to believe, and you can look straight up the skirts of the top six teams - with their fancy winning ways and retrograde reliance on consistency - but you'll still be part of the bottom six, the equivalent of the remedial class in Scottish football, with all the social stigma this brings. Top six teams and their fans dress really well, go to lots of parties and have plenty of sex, whilst we're left to hirple through the playground with our bad skin and denim jackets entirely covered in Status Quo badges before going home to weep-**** into a sock. Galling. Social engineering, that's what it is, and vindictively artificial social engineering at that. (Is there any other kind, I'm suddenly wondering? No matter.) Fraser Fyvie, Rob Milsom, Yoann Folly, Isaac Osbourne, Stephen Hughes and Russell Anderson are all out, it would appear, and fans may be forgiven for wondering if they're ever in. Jesus. Prediction: Hearts 1 Aberdeen 2 Supplementary prediction: Hearts may not exist this time next year. If I had to place a bet - and I've never placed a bet on anything, ever (why get greedy?) - I'd put my money on Hearts being the Scottish football team most likely to entirely disappear from the scene. I base this on nothing more than an ill-informed hunch, but there we go.
Correction: Russell Anderson has made it to the bench. I wonder if he walked there unaided. Correcting the correction: Hughes is on the bench, as well. Good stuff. 0-0 with just under 15 minutes gone.
The radio commentator says that there is "a brilliant Aberdeen travelling support again", filling up most of their two allocated sections of the Roseburn Stand. That's pretty impressive. Aberdeen applying a spell of sustained pressure......
And with just 11 (SPL) wins away from home in three full seasons, you've got to admire their persistence. That's a shockingly bad statistic, by the way. I never knew it was so awful until a mouth on the radio blurted it out, without so much as a warning.
Heats 2 Aberdeen 0 Rudi Skacel. This is the first time Aberdeen have conceded two goals in a league game since the tail-end of last year (Christmas Eve against Inverness). Apparently it was a "stunning" goal, cleanly hit, if the excitable men on the radio are to be believed. I've no idea if they're telling the truth or not and the live text service on the BBC hardly sheds any light: please log in to view this image Looks like a fairly standard long-range shot from here. Nothing to worry about.
Oh my God. St Mirren have come back from a goal down against Kilmarnock and now lead them 2-1. This means we've lost our cherished grip on 8th place and presently find ourselves languishing in 9th. Inverness are 2 points behind, but have a game in hand. Reasons to be cheerful: the existence of Hibs and Dunfermline.
[video=youtube;LanCLS_hIo4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LanCLS_hIo4&feature=related[/video] 3-1 to St Mirren now.
I can't believe I just sat through that song, listening politely. It's a measure of my despondency, perhaps, that reggae seemed more attractive than the radio commentary. I've never liked reggae. The people in school who liked reggae were always so......something or other. Don't say you liked (or even like) such music, Stereo, or that's it for us. Hello. The summer's over in Ireland. We had a magic five days and I look bronzed and lithe (minus the "lithe" bit).
3-0 I give up. (In as much as I don't expect a comeback now, but I'll stay listening to the massacre unfold.)
How can you not like Three Little Birds? I'll put it down to the end of the nice weather and the fact you support Aberdeen. I'm not a big fan of reggae in general but TLB (the above song, not the alternative name for the Celtic manager that the Huns refer to in their typically dour manner) is a song that transcends mere musical genres. Anyway, look on the bright side. Being in the bottom six saves you another trip to Celtic Park where you would undoubtedly have been dealt a severe spanking.
Oh. You came back. I missed you, sorry, having stormed off in a suicidal rage, as you can imagine. That song is called âThree Little Birdsâ? I always imagined it was called something logical like âDonât Worry About a Thingâ â but no, it seems not. Further aggravations. Iâve just listened to it again â itâs the first time Iâve really properly listened to it, actually - and itâs maybe quite sweet, I suppose, if looked at a certain way whilst in a certain sort of mood. Apart from that, though, what have the reggaeists ever done for us? You could be right when you say that it transcends mere musical genres, I'll grant you that, although I prefer to think that youâre not. And now Iâve just wasted too much time trying to work out what "TLB" might stand for when used by Rangers fans to label Neil Lennon. Terrorist Loving Beeler? Timmy....Timmy......no, I give in. I just can't seem to lower my standards sufficiently to be able to divine the meaning of these letters. The Lovely Bloke? Is that maybe asking for too much? Nine lucky goals - all against the run of play - and suddenly you lot think you've got the better of us? It could just as easily have been 9-0 to Aberdeen that day if the scores had been reversed. And that's a fact.
