...better known as our Friday Thread, a collection of beaut's from our Arry! Feel free to add more, or any funnies from someone else, doesn't have to be Harry...who cares!...its Friday! 
On West Ham striker John Hartson:
"John Hartson's got more previous than Jack the Ripper."
On West Ham's Ivory Coast striker Samassi Abou:
"He don't speak the English too good."
And there's more...
"The lad [Abou] went home to the Ivory Coast and got a bit of food poisoning. He must have eaten a dodgy missionary or something."
On tactics:
"I sorted out the team formation last night lying in bed with the wife. When your husband's as ugly as me, you'd only want to talk football in bed."
On a training ground bust-up between West Ham players Alvin Martin and Matthew Rush:
"I've seen better fights at a wedding."
On West Ham's UEFA Cup chances:
"Where are we in relation to Europe? Not too far from Dover."
On his time as a West Ham winger in the '60s:
"Even when we had Moore, Hurst and Peters, West Ham's average finish was about 17th. Which just shows how crap the other eight of us were."
On signing pretty boy 'Portugeezer' winger Dani:
"My missus fancies him. Even I don't know whether to play him or f**k him."
On under-performing foreign signings:
"With the foreigners it's more difficult. Most of them don't even bother with the golf, they don't want to go racing. They don't even drink."
On the danger of signing players from videos:
"I tape over most of them with Corrie or Neighbours. Most of them are crap. They can f***ing make anyone look good. I signed Marco Boogers off a video. He was a good player but a nutter. They didn't show that on the video."
On missing out on the signing of a global superstar he had on trial at Upton Park:
"Andrei Shevchenko didn't pull up any trees."
On Southampton striker Kenwyne Jones:
âHe took a knock on his ankle but we played him some Bob Marley reggae music and he was fine.â
On wayward Tottenham striker Darren Bent:
âYou will never get a better chance to win a match than that. My missus could have scored that one.â
On even more wayward Portsmouth striker Benjani:
âAfter shooting practise yesterday, I had to drive up the M27 and collect four balls.â
On Iain Dowie:
"By the look of him he must have headed a lot of balls"
On referee Steve Tanner (in 2008):
âI never walk in after games and complain about a referee but this guy is scary.â
On Arsenal being reduced to 10 men against Southampton:
âVan Persie obviously thought âwhy take the piss out of poor old Southampton? Iâll get sent off and make a game of itâ.â
On England's World Cup 2010 campaign:
âThe future for England looks a bit scary to me. No one should kid themselves England are overloaded with fantastic talent coming through. Theyâre not.â ....All he has ever said, is if he were offered the job "It would be difficult to turn it down"....which aswell as accepting it, it could also mean it's not impossible to turn it down either, just difficult! He's never expanded that statement so it could be read 2 ways until he does.
On wheeler dealing:
âThe sad part is that the ones who do well want to go, but you cannot move the ones who are useless.â
On being a wheeler and dealer:
"No, I'm not a wheeler and dealer. F**k off. I'm not a wheeler and f*****g dealer. Don't even say that. I'm a f*****g football manager."
Another favourite of mine is that vid on You Tube, when he got twatted on the back of the head with a ball whilst being interviewed on the training ground.
He turned round and shouted " What do you mean you were aiming for the goal" he turns back to the interviewer and says " No wonder he's in the fackin reserves."
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On West Ham striker John Hartson:
"John Hartson's got more previous than Jack the Ripper."
On West Ham's Ivory Coast striker Samassi Abou:
"He don't speak the English too good."
And there's more...
"The lad [Abou] went home to the Ivory Coast and got a bit of food poisoning. He must have eaten a dodgy missionary or something."
On tactics:
"I sorted out the team formation last night lying in bed with the wife. When your husband's as ugly as me, you'd only want to talk football in bed."
On a training ground bust-up between West Ham players Alvin Martin and Matthew Rush:
"I've seen better fights at a wedding."
On West Ham's UEFA Cup chances:
"Where are we in relation to Europe? Not too far from Dover."
On his time as a West Ham winger in the '60s:
"Even when we had Moore, Hurst and Peters, West Ham's average finish was about 17th. Which just shows how crap the other eight of us were."
On signing pretty boy 'Portugeezer' winger Dani:
"My missus fancies him. Even I don't know whether to play him or f**k him."
On under-performing foreign signings:
"With the foreigners it's more difficult. Most of them don't even bother with the golf, they don't want to go racing. They don't even drink."
On the danger of signing players from videos:
"I tape over most of them with Corrie or Neighbours. Most of them are crap. They can f***ing make anyone look good. I signed Marco Boogers off a video. He was a good player but a nutter. They didn't show that on the video."
On missing out on the signing of a global superstar he had on trial at Upton Park:
"Andrei Shevchenko didn't pull up any trees."
On Southampton striker Kenwyne Jones:
âHe took a knock on his ankle but we played him some Bob Marley reggae music and he was fine.â
On wayward Tottenham striker Darren Bent:
âYou will never get a better chance to win a match than that. My missus could have scored that one.â
On even more wayward Portsmouth striker Benjani:
âAfter shooting practise yesterday, I had to drive up the M27 and collect four balls.â
On Iain Dowie:
"By the look of him he must have headed a lot of balls"
On referee Steve Tanner (in 2008):
âI never walk in after games and complain about a referee but this guy is scary.â
On Arsenal being reduced to 10 men against Southampton:
âVan Persie obviously thought âwhy take the piss out of poor old Southampton? Iâll get sent off and make a game of itâ.â
On England's World Cup 2010 campaign:
âThe future for England looks a bit scary to me. No one should kid themselves England are overloaded with fantastic talent coming through. Theyâre not.â ....All he has ever said, is if he were offered the job "It would be difficult to turn it down"....which aswell as accepting it, it could also mean it's not impossible to turn it down either, just difficult! He's never expanded that statement so it could be read 2 ways until he does.
On wheeler dealing:
âThe sad part is that the ones who do well want to go, but you cannot move the ones who are useless.â
On being a wheeler and dealer:
"No, I'm not a wheeler and dealer. F**k off. I'm not a wheeler and f*****g dealer. Don't even say that. I'm a f*****g football manager."
Another favourite of mine is that vid on You Tube, when he got twatted on the back of the head with a ball whilst being interviewed on the training ground.
He turned round and shouted " What do you mean you were aiming for the goal" he turns back to the interviewer and says " No wonder he's in the fackin reserves."
, just read and ave a laugh! 
Has everyone else died?