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humanbeingincroydon

humanbeingincroydon

Well-Known Member
May 28, 2011
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People's Republic of Croydon
Considering some of the garbage that journalists and pundits have been writing and/or saying about us so far this season, I thought it would be a good idea to collect some of the worst examples of attempted journalism in one place

I'll start the ball rolling with TalkBalls' latest contribution to the "Janssen is bollocks" narrative we've been hearing ever since he signed

"They will still be getting to know him as a player but the man who was behind bringing him to the club was Ian Broomfield, who I speak to quite a lot,” said some hack. “He does a lot of the dealings at Tottenham. I asked him what he was like and he said he is not fantastic at anything, he is not the quickest, he is not the strongest, he is not the best in the air, but his all-round game is fitted to the way Tottenham play.”

A quick reminder of his career stats
2013-14: 36 games, 10 goals
2014-15: 38 games, 22 goals
2015-16: 49 games, 31 goals

Looks pretty good at sticking the ball in the net, doesn't he?
 
So according to TalkShite, if you're not strong, fast or good in the air, you're ****? Hmm, we're ****ed then.

Dembele's strong but not fast or an aerial threat.

Eriksen, Lamela and Alli are pretty much none of those.

Kane ain't fast... He ain't better than Toby or Dier in the air... He ain't as strong as Dier, Dembele or Wanyama either.

Looks like we'll be needing a squad overhaul!
 
Richard Keys (Grrrrr!) weighed in with a 'story' about our transfer business:

"Spurs are still short - way short of where they were last season. Again, I'm hearing all is not well behind the scenes. I'm not convinced that Pochettino got what he wanted in the transfer window and he wasn't that impressed by what he did get. Watch this space!"

Yes, Paul Mitchell has resigned. There will have been tensions and possibly about Batshuayi. However, the bloke wanted £125k per week and we don't and can't pay that and keep the rest of the players MP wants happy at WHL. The only clubs that get what they want in the TW are those that have a 'money no object' policy and we're not one of those 2 clubs (I don't think Chelsea qualify anymore despite chucking a lot of money around). Does anyone think that Perez and that German bloke were Arsenal's first picks? All the London clubs wanted Morata but couldn't make it happen because a bigger fish gobbled him up. Wenger's wanted Benzema for years but nobody lays into him when he buys some unheard of Spanish veteran.

I'm pretty sure that DL isn't going to piss MP off by buying players without MP's approval. We've done that and it doesn't work. We got the best we could afford along with everyone else that doesn't have Manchester as part of their club name. Keys is just a prick.
 
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Richard Keyes is desperate to get work after killing his career a few years ago so will spout any ****e that'll get him on the radio, TV or in the papers.
 
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"Thanks for that Brian" said:
Richard Keys (Grrrrr!) weighed in with a 'story' about our transfer business:

"Spurs are still short - way short of where they were last season.
Click to expand...

Tbf, there's no denying we had 6 points last year after five games, while this year we only have 11. And after only 7 1/2 hours of play our slipshod defending has leaked in the sad total of zero goals from open play.
 
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"Thanks for that Brian" said:
Richard Keys (Grrrrr!) weighed in with a 'story' about our transfer business:

"Spurs are still short - way short of where they were last season. Again, I'm hearing all is not well behind the scenes. I'm not convinced that Pochettino got what he wanted in the transfer window and he wasn't that impressed by what he did get. Watch this space!"

Yes, Paul Mitchell has resigned. There will have been tensions and possibly about Batshuayi. However, the bloke wanted £125k per week and we don't and can't pay that and keep the rest of the players MP wants happy at WHL. The only clubs that get what they want in the TW are those that have a 'money no object' policy and we're not one of those 2 clubs (I don't think Chelsea qualify anymore despite chucking a lot of money around). Does anyone think that Perez and that German bloke were Arsenal's first picks? All the London clubs wanted Morata but couldn't make it happen because a bigger fish gobbled him up. Wenger's wanted Benzema for years but nobody lays into him when he buys some unheard of Spanish veteran.

I'm pretty sure that DL isn't going to piss MP off by buying players without MP's approval. We've done that and it doesn't work. We got the best we could afford along with everyone else that doesn't have Manchester as part of their club name. Keys is just a prick.
Click to expand...

"watch this space"
Is he referring to the space in his head? I think he might be a little pushed to come up with any real evidence to back up his wild claims.

All of the facts fly in his face with a strong resemblance to egg.

Better balanced squad
More points than this time last season
No goals conceded from open play
Another season of experience behind both manager and team.

Still, no doubt Keys know his employers who know their audience and they wouldn't want reality to get in the way of their excited ramblings and let's face it most football reporting from transfer rumours to match reports can be catergorised under the heading of 'Bollocks'

Let's just throw away the Keys.
 
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Spurf said:
"watch this space"
Is he referring to the space in his head? I think he might be a little pushed to come up with any real evidence to back up his wild claims.

All of the facts fly in his face with a strong resemblance to egg.

Better balanced squad
More points than this time last season
No goals conceded from open play
Another season of experience behind both manager and team.

Still, no doubt Keys know his employers who know their audience and they wouldn't want reality to get in the way of their excited ramblings and let's face it most football reporting from transfer rumours to match reports can be catergorised under the heading of 'Bollocks'

Let's just throw away the Keys.
Click to expand...
Had to give that a like if only for the final sentence <applause>
 
BBC says:

  • Spurs have gone unbeaten in their opening five league games of a season for the first time in 12 years. The 2004-05 season was the only time they have remained unbeaten after six matches in the Premier League.
  • A win on Saturday would represent the club's best start to a top-flight season for 51 years, matching their four wins and two draws after six matches in 1965-66.
  • They have the division's best defensive record so far this season, keeping three clean sheets and only conceding two goals.
  • Tottenham have fielded the youngest average starting XI in the division so far this season, aged 25 years and 208 days
<badger>
 
Not quite sure how this seasons 11 points from the first 5 games is better than Harry's 12 points from the first 4 games, but I'm sure you'll be able to tell me.
 
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humanbeingincroydon said:
Considering some of the garbage that journalists and pundits have been writing and/or saying about us so far this season, I thought it would be a good idea to collect some of the worst examples of attempted journalism in one place

I'll start the ball rolling with TalkBalls' latest contribution to the "Janssen is bollocks" narrative we've been hearing ever since he signed

"They will still be getting to know him as a player but the man who was behind bringing him to the club was Ian Broomfield, who I speak to quite a lot,” said some hack. “He does a lot of the dealings at Tottenham. I asked him what he was like and he said he is not fantastic at anything, he is not the quickest, he is not the strongest, he is not the best in the air, but his all-round game is fitted to the way Tottenham play.”

A quick reminder of his career stats
2013-14: 36 games, 10 goals
2014-15: 38 games, 22 goals
2015-16: 49 games, 31 goals

Looks pretty good at sticking the ball in the net, doesn't he?
Click to expand...
Seems to start slowly then speed up, that will do me.
 
Ahead of our match against the Pep Guardiola Show, the media's talking about how it's inevitable that they'll break the record we set in 1960-1 of winning ten league games on the spin.

There's two reasons that this won't happen:
i.) We won our first eleven games in 1960-1, not ten
ii.) City have played six games this season, not eleven - which means they're a long way short of even equalling our record

That's the thing about facts, it's worth the time and effort to check them...
 
humanbeingincroydon said:
Ahead of our match against the Pep Guardiola Show, the media's talking about how it's inevitable that they'll break the record we set in 1960-1 of winning ten league games on the spin.

There's two reasons that this won't happen:
i.) We won our first eleven games in 1960-1, not ten
ii.) City have played six games this season, not eleven - which means they're a long way short of even equalling our record

That's the thing about facts, it's worth the time and effort to check them...
Click to expand...

I don't believe you are a human being, croydon maybe! I think you are Google posing as a Spurs fan. :emoticon-0103-cool:
 
Somebody might want to tell Soccer AM that..
a.) It's called football, not soccer
b.) Of all the things to take the piss out of clubs for, having their players sign long-term contract extensions is not one of them - so three guesses what they thought was good material to take the piss out of us for

By the way, the following players are out of contract next summer...
Michael Carrick
Santi Cazorla
Gael Clichy
Fernandinho
Timothy Fonsu-Mensah
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Branislav Ivanovic
Laurent Koscielny
Lucas Leiva
John Obi Mikel John Obi John
Per Mertesacker
Jesus Navas
Bacary Sagna
John Terry
Yaya Toure
Antonio Valencia
Pablo Zabaleta
 
MOTD2 panel discussing next weekends game stated that no Spurs player would get into the Citeh 1st team and their bench were also stronger.......
Well, I am certainly not going to exaggerate our capabilities and Citeh have undoubted quality especially offensively, but just comparing the two back fours from yesterday's game, I wouldn't rush to change any of ours:
Sagna v Walker - has to be Kyle on form over last 12 months
Otamendi v Alderweirald - no brainer, has to be Toby, probably the most consistent CB in the PL
Stones v Vertonghen - not the biggest fan of Verts and Stones is a top 'prospect', but I wouldn't be keen to break the partnership with Toby
Kolarov v Davies - been a fan of Kolarov and he would probably get the nod over our reserve LB, but not by much - and he's now 30 and may be in decline at the top level for such a vital position.

Hacks seem to associate quality exclusively with transfer fees. Experience suggests this is not always the case....
 
O.Spurcat said:
Not quite sure how this seasons 11 points from the first 5 games is better than Harry's 12 points from the first 4 games, but I'm sure you'll be able to tell me.
Click to expand...

I was wondering this myself last night. I think the (grain of) logic behind it is the assumption that an unbeaten start trumps a beaten one. We lost the 5th game of that season IIRC.

It's the same strand of logic that governs Lawro's prediction league. Beyond that, can't tell you much more.
 
Spur of the Moment said:
MOTD2 panel discussing next weekends game stated that no Spurs player would get into the Citeh 1st team and their bench were also stronger.......
Well, I am certainly not going to exaggerate our capabilities and Citeh have undoubted quality especially offensively, but just comparing the two back fours from yesterday's game, I wouldn't rush to change any of ours
Click to expand...

Last season their PL attack was a good on-paper test of our defence.
And Spurs prevailed. Twice.
 
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