My guilty pleasure? 0300 hours on any given day. Hessle Road. A £20 brass, a pair of pliers and a rusty coat hanger. Musically? Nothing.
There's no need to be sorry Kemps, this must be crazy for you & if all you say is true, blue is the colour you must be feeling. I can hear you crying out "rescue me" it's like nothing really matters. I know you can beat this pal, I don't want to see you frozen out & I'm happy for you to have one more chance without falling deeper & deeper into this guilty secret of yours. I'm prepared to help but we'll have to trust each other. Don't look at me as some kind of beautiful stranger look upon me as a father figure & you'll soon be feeling the power of goodbye to her music. CBT can help & luckily this used to be my playground. You need to talk, open your heart now, express yourself, get into the groove, fight with me against the music & you'll see that ray of light before you have time to read another bedtime story. I need your honesty, give it to me. I'm not going to dress you up as some kind of angel because your symptoms show you as borderline mentalist but I also don't want you giving up before the therapy ends. Don't tell me one minute you need my help then 4 minutes later be asking, oh father, or even, please papa, don't preach to me. Now the treatment, firstly you need to be asking yourself questions. is it the material, girl. sex or all of them? Who's that girl causing a commotion? Do you just, see the bad girl gone wild? Do you cherish her? Are you livin' for love profusion? Is it erotica or are you just after a little hanky panky? Is she the type of bird you want to be giving all your lovin to? That's all human nature & not something you need to shy away from but admitting a liking of the music is something you need to justify. My love for you. as a pal, leads me to believe you may just need a holiday or just a few day trips to take away your musical fever. Somewhere miles away. A day trip to Hollywood maybe, although that can be a little dear. Jesse, a friend of mine went there once for a celebration & never came back. He now calls himself an American. Piers Morgan is trying to do the same although he acts like a virgin & is a **** who would do the world a favour if he were to die. Another day you could visit the beautiful island & place another suitcase in another hall. It may rain a lot & look like the drowned world but you could become both a little & lucky star there. It's a vogue place to be, they have proper music & there's no guilty secrets like yours. I really think it's a place that will help in your recovery as well as a place you'd like. A prayer is said every morning to help people live to tell their tales of woe, in your case, what it feels like for a girl in a man's body. I know that sounds harsh but I want you to recover, so don't cry. For me, Argentina is a place I'll remember fondly as a destination that helped me get over the guilty secret I had with the Pointer Sisters in the early 80s. I was forever humming Jump to myself. Maybe it could help you too? Alternatively we could just get together tomorrow night, play some proper music & get all thoughts of her music out of your head. If you're struggling, don't be a gambler. Come straight back here & re-read this post & all thoughts of Madonna's songs will be banished from your thoughts. Masterpiece & take a bow.
There was a fair few laughing out loud parts but there was also a few "get in" & "yes, I'm having that" moments. Daughter told me at least three times to shut up & grow up, which made it all the more worthwhile. Friday competition. Masterpiece & take a bow are around numbers 69 & 70. What are the other 68ish Madge song references?
