Tony Blackburn was invited to a pool party. When he turned up he had Jimmy Saville & Gary Glitter with him. The party thrower said, "You deaf **** - I said bring a pair of Speedos"
Yes. I wondered which of you would crack first and bite. UIR - The Usual Suspect. We've been making a better job of it ourselves mate
[TABLE="width: 100%"] [TR] [TD]I was at the local swimming centre when I saw a couple having sex in the pool. I walked over to the lifeguard and said, "Aren't you going to do anything?" He said, "I might have a **** if you **** off."[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE]
I was at the gym staring at this girl's arse for ages as she was doing her work out. "You are such a ****ing pervert!" She yelled at me. I said, "No need to over-react, all guy's would have had a look at your arse." SHe said, "Yeah, but not lying on the ****ing floor underneath me."
I came home from work this evening to find my wife had died in our bed. I realised that this would be the last time I could ever be with her, so quickly undressed and starting having sex. Just as I was reaching orgasm she woke up and shouted "Boo!" What kind of sick ****er pretends to be dead?!?
[TABLE="width: 100%"] [TR] [TD]It's nearly December, but instead of trying to kiss women under the mistletoe I'm going to try a different approach. This year I'm going straight for the cameltoe! [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE]
