One of the worst experiences I've ever had was after the post mortem of a calf, this auld **** said 'here - take this' and passed me the stomachs and intestines of the calf. Whoever had removed them had nicked them with a knife and the contents of one of the stomachs emptied all over my boiler suits and went into my shoes. ****ing stinking. The burd with me boaked, tried to stop it and it came out her nose. The auld **** responsible just laughed.
That's a ****ing belter. A few years back I was sharing a flat and my mate came home at lunch. Him and the bird next door were coming in at the same time and a seagull attacking and sicked up on them. It went in the birds mouth and on my mates jacket. He just left her there.
Just sneak into the birds' bogs and write The New Bloke Has a 12" Cock on the cubicle wall. Sure to get the fanny interested.
Thats ****ing filthy A seagull stole a chip off me in Cornwall, so I was beelin and punched the air saying that's what the next one would get. As I done it one flew done and I accidentally smacked it Seen a guy getting repeatedly divebombed by a seagull during one of our fire alarms. He was running into crowds of people but it kept picking him out. One of the funniest moments I've had from working in town for 7 years.