47th minute: More ridiculously calm and sexy footwork between the Swansea lads in the corner... Almost sets Hernandez free, but he's offside. Bloody assistant. I wonder when Rafa will turn to the only man/woman they can, stinky Torres. He may look like a prepubescent teenage girl who’s as baffled by the concept of football as by the application of tampons, but to be fair, at least with Fernando you know it’s at most "very likely" blood, sweat and tears are round the corner, rather than a certainty… In fairness to the girls, at least prepubescent teenage girls from the Chelsea area can say they’ve "scored" several times in the strip. #chavsea
We need a goal though, so use all your influence on Michu you have gandalf, I have it on good authority he was reading this thread at half time
50th minute: Karaoke Ba not having the a great night thus far (yayyyyy!), and he's blaring out Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" as he passes a shot wide of Tremmel's goal... I don't remember the girly "ooooooooo" during the chorus, but Ba's got his own twist on the classic, and he indulges his falsetto and turns in disbelief as the ball bobbles away. Or maybe he was just embarrassed. It's all about the Swansong at the moment
watching game. Will read through these comments later. Just wanted to say that chelsea are dirty fouling ****s and should **** off. That is all.
60th minute: Swansea really don't seem troubled by Chelsea at the moment. It's almost as comfortable as the gentle caress of a Michu glove on your thigh. Leon Britton has a nasty gash on his knee and/or face somehow... I can only refer the aforementioned assistant to what I said before about what having Michu onside can do for one's sex life
65th Substitution Routledge off, Dyer on. I think this is what having strength in depth looks like, but being a Newcastle fan with Williamson playing every week, I'm not actually sure what that means...
67th minute Substitution **** Coloccini comes on. Ivanovic heads off knowing his hard work looks like ensuring sexy Michu will be a finalist ...
70th minute: THIS.IS.SWANSEA. Michu slides back sensationally to deny the Persian mercenaries breaking the ranks. Wonderful tackle! Chelsea upping the tempo, Karaoke Ba must be loving this, he loves the 80's hits!
73rd minute: Tremmel catching everything so far, including a tame shot from my girlfriend's inferior favoured Spaniard, Juan Mata... #SUCKIT! #noseriously #okok #yeahyeahIknowI'msleepingdownstairsdon'tworry
77th minute: RED CARD HAZARD OFF!!!!! Chelsea have only 13 minutes to score 2. A ball-boy is felled by Hazard who in his impatience kicks the lad. He looks in pain. #showingedenhowtoact
80th minute Substitution Talking about needing a good period, Torres is coming on. Chelsea are in serious trouble. 1 man down, 2 goals down... They can only turn to one man(/woman possibly), Fernandina Torres. Teen Angst music thoroughly unplugged.
85th minute: Poor Benitez. The steely and ominous clicks of Abromovich's revolver is matched in ferocity only by the bashing my mouse is getting as I hurriedly download the photos swimaway sent me earlier of the greatest Spaniard on the park... A scrappy game has become even scrappier... The Swansea faithful are in full-chorus every time they burst forward now!
