Hey Ensil, I've got some Finnnish jokes for you: How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One. Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital. A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family. What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat. Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed. Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.' Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede? A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering. How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling. What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? "Would you like an ice pack?" Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird. What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. A man called a lawyer and asked, "How much will you charge me to answer three questions?" The lawyer said "$400." "Wow," said the man. "Isn't that a lot?" "I guess so," said the lawyer. "When are you going to ask your questions?" Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me". How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I imagine it would take a great many. Mice would find it difficult to reach a ceiling light fitting, and would individually lack the strength or dexterity required to turn a bulb in such a socket. Even if you had enough mice to lend their strength to such an endeavor, the chances of them having the intelligence and wherewithal to perform such a complex activity is really quite low. A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.
Which is why its funny... there's a reason comedians tell it to each other, Eddie Izzards version is ****ing hilarious.
