Farting

Interesting point..

Never bothered if I’m in the toilet and someone let’s rip. The worst is when someone clearly knows they’ve got bad farts and lets out a stinker in a busy pub and everyone starts giving each other dirty looks as to who the farter is.

My mate always seems to get the farts during a round of golf, lets out massive arse flappers when you’re lining up a putt or about to tee off.

 

Had a mate when I was at school who could fart to order. I swear the **** could let one rip anytime he wanted to.

His favourite was the end of term service at the local church. Always saved a special one for the sermon, then let a huge jam tart rip against the wooden benches we sat on. The sound reverberated all around the church.

You couldn’t laugh out loud cos you’d get in trouble, but the sniggering!....

 

Not a fan of smelling peoples farts for a giggle tbh

 

This is why they should lift the smoking ban in pubs. Smells better than that...

I hate it when you're in a pub loo and you let one go (surely that's the right place for it) and some clever bollocks has to comment on it.

 

I am quite often that person. Most used comment is my this floor is a bit squeaky.

 

When you and Chief get together for golf do you ever discuss gin or farting etiquette?

 

I don’t understand the supposed hilarity around farts. Whiffing someone’s colonic gases after they've chosen to drop them within your vicinity isn’t funny.

The only ‘funny’ farts, are your own.........if you’re 12.

 

Farting may have been discussed previously. Don’t think we have gin before.

 

Stupid ****ing meatheads, popping their roids, and eating **** loads of gay shakes and anything else they can scran.

Oversized stinking ****s.

 

Ale, red wine and a few lines of coke iirc.

Doubt farts came up much tbh.

 

On topic, went back to the match for the first game this season.

Same fat **** is sat in the row in front. Farts four or five times a game and they stink.

Not funny to be honest.

 

Hate to ask the obvious question but why not move?

 

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Season tickets mate. We are where we are.

 

I bet @PISKIE stinks, eating moss, celery and wholenut bread sarnies.

 

I bet his farts do as well.

Out here farting, belching, clearing your throat/nose loudly are not thought of as particularly impolite. In fact I think belching is regarded as a sign that you actually enjoyed the meal. Farting is actually encouraged in Islam:

"Farting is not haram in Islam and I believe that it is a gift from Allah (Swt) In the hadith of Sahih Bukhari and Muslim the prophet (Sal) admonished them for laughing at the passing of wind and said: “Why does one of you laugh at what he does?” Further, The Prophet (Sal) forbade laughing at what comes out of one naturally. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari). It is forbidden for a Muslim to laugh at someone farting unless he or she cannot control laughing .

Farting helps the human body emit bad gases. You can fart loud in public because it is a natural thing. No one should be ridiculed for farting because it is a human right."

 

Farted at 7:24am

 

I am basically 12 though, I thought all blokes were?