That's blinking disgusting . . . . worse than what Adam Johnson did Did you feel a reet tit (or 2), too
Felt them. I was ready to chop the ****ers off Face full of paint. And all me mates laughing their cocks off. Twats.
I can't say I enjoyed paintball, the plastic visor kept on steaming up so I rubbed a little washing up liquid (it was something like that anyway) on it on someone's advice, as a result I still couldn't see but my eyes were also stinging like a bastard. It hurts like hell too, I caught one on the mouth and although there was a slatted mouth guard quite a bit got through and it was like being stabbed by a hundred needles. What is it, something like 200mph those things go at? Someone also shot me rapid fire three times on the same spot on my arse cheek, it stung like **** but it was pretty funny to be fair. To top it off the gun I was using was totally inaccurate, I did a bit of testing at a quiet period and just keeping it fixed on one spot the shots were going left, right, up, down. Anything but straight ahead. It was a good laugh overall despite my whinging but I'm not in any rush to do it again.
. I should have used that excuse on the ranges. 'But sarge man,its not me,its the gun,its ****e'. Wallop.
Be funny as **** mind. 6 man teams. One nearly picks its self. Smug. Bri. Qwop. Gordon. Raw. Joe. Any volunteers?
Aye! The visor steaming up ruined the whole experience for me, also the fact that my peepers were starting to fail me at the time before I rectified the fact by buying glasses, I must have shot more of my own team than the other lot did. I actually got shot square on the forehead and even though it was protected by the helmet it still knock me off my feet. The icing on the cake though was the fact that I turned up with 3 mates but when sides were randomly picked none of them were on my team. Ended up being on a team full of yuppie business type strangers who took it all far too seriously. It was one of them who suggested wading through the river to avoid detection. We ended up getting pinned down by heavy enemy fire. I'll always remember the pellets snapping the twigs and bushes on the bankside around my head. I was the only survivor from that massacre. War is hell!
Haha, yeah the visor thing was a real problem, if I tilted my head at a strange angle I could see a little bit but for the most part I was running around blind. Didn't help I'd tear gassed myself! If it wasn't for that I think I'd have enjoyed it a lot more.
The first time they just took us into the bush away from all the roads and people, then made us sit there till they broke the news to our management. They kept us for about 16 hours then let us go. No harm done and it was all peaceful. Second time i was sat having a sneaky pint in a bush bar at lunchtime and some guys just came out of nowhere, grabbed us and bundled us into a van and sped off. Again we ended up deep into the bush but there was a small village there with all the locals just hovering around to see what was going on. They actually gave us a beer but it was red hot after being in the sun all day, ****ers. Anyway, they took a couple of the lads deeper into the bush and pointed out a head on a long tall stick and said this is what we do when we don't get what we want. Me and another guy got dragged off in another direction and got put inside a container and just left there. After about six hours they bundled us all together again in the back of this van drove to the road and just kicked us out but the ****s never untied us so we couldn't go anywhere. Luckily someone driving passed recognised us and picked us up and took us to the local clinic to get checked out. Then all the hoohah started when upper management got involved and we spent the next week being interrogated by every tom dick and harry. All i ended up with were a few bruises and bad memories but two of the lads demanded to be flown home and never set foot in Nigeria again. Kidnapping is rife out here, some have happier endings like mine did, others get killed. Just a couple of days ago they boarded one of the platforms and blew it up, check out the news. It was a Chevron Platform, Okan i think it was called
Caught one of them in tenereefee along with a few tuna, baracuda was about 45 pounder, got nice pics of it somewhere.
I knarr. I've also run out of umbongo. I'm gannin newhere near Nigeria without me jungle juice. That part of the world is ****ed-up. Me cousin lived in Angola for a while - he has a few tales, and swore never to step foot back there.
Had some interesting times paint balling. There's one up Tow Law way, went when I was at college. Anyway, muggins here couldnt get his mask to sit properly the whole time we were there so we were in the middle of a game and I get pinned clean between the eyes, but because my mask wasn't on properly the paint went into the mask and into my eyes. Rules being that once you're shot you put your arm up to show you're out of the game and walk out the arena and no one is meant to shoot you. Only I couldn't see where the **** I was going so I'm walking round in ****ing circles blinded by this paint getting shot to hell by everyone in the arena. I was a sitting duck. Was black and blue for days afterwards. Twats.
there is a one not far from where I live in between Warden Law and Seaton.. My eldest son has been a few times and love it...i have not been as yet, but would love to give it a go..
