England v Tunisia

So this Sunday sees England take on Tunisia in their opening group game.

Gareth Southgate has seemingly done the impossible by making Woy, the saviour of palace, Hodgson look and sound interesting.

The England players have been taking in the sights of Russia but avoiding the tea

Henderson is likely to start instead of Dier in the hope that the scousers would be too busy cheering him on to boo stirling...who will be gunning to prove he is not just made to look good by De Bruyne and co.

As Walker is close friends with Rose he's been tasked to hide his Mars Bars.

As captain Kane has voiced the teams concerns that Dele looks a serious dick modelling boo hoo clothes.

Their are no cliques in the squad namely cos there are no prick in it called Terry, Beckham, Cole, Ferdinand or Gerrard.

There is a quiet confidence that England will be less **** than they were in 2010, 2012, 2014 and 2016 ... that's all due to Walcott and the Granny Shagger not being there...allegedly.

Vardy is desperate to qualify through the group so he can play Japan in the knockout rounds
England's main tactic will be to kick it to Walker and Rose and hope they can run really fast and kick the ball near Kane.

Plan b is to give the ball to Walker and Rose and hope they run really fast and kick the ball near Vardy.

Plan c is to pray Cahill ain't able to play

Everyone will be eagerly watching on Sunday ... except those who workfor the RSPCA who are expecting a lot of reports post match from distraught kids about how daddy had just kick the cat through the front room window while screaming "SEE STONE, SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO CLEAR THE FECKING BALL"

Enjoy the match and remember a kicking a beloved pet cos of a lost football match is never ok...
























unless you've just lost a local derby.

 

Monday mate

 

And door handles

 

Apart from HK, our central spine is Pickford, Stones, Henderson and Sterling...

'Back home, they'll be watching and waiting...but not for very long........"

 

"It's only a bunch of Tunisians, this'll be easy" - Gaius Terentius Varro, 2nd August 2016 BC

 

I'm going for stones for my wally of the week he's a disaster waiting to happen.hope to be proved wrong and see England win comfortably

 

Bobby Robson achieved success in Italy 1990 because he learned during the competition about his best team. My fear with Southgate (and almost all England managers) is that they have certain players that will play, so even if they **** up they will still play in the next game. Yes, I'm thinking mainly of you Stones and Sterling. Another example was Hodgson getting a great result away to Germany without Rooney, and as soon as Rooney became available again he was picked. And picked again, and again, and again.

 

Not so much players they will play, but players they have to play due to outside pressures - which is why in the past England have taken the likes of Beckham and Rooney to tournaments in spite their being injured, or for that matter the 2006 Brazil team having to line up with that ludicrous 4222 formation as that was the only way to get Ronaldo, Adriano, Kaka and Ronaldinho into the team.

 

I heard someone on the radio saying that Southgate refused to have anything to do with the standard England tradition of picking 'big name players' well after their sell-by date to appease shirt sales and sponsors, as happened with shoe-horning Rooney in 2 years ago and Beckham before that.

That's good to hear but we've just not got enough good players to make too many changes. None of the goalkeepers are experienced, nor world beaters. Options in defence include an ageing winger who plays on the wrong side, a kid with just a few games, Phil Jones......The midfield's a wasteland.

Let's hope the forwards have got their shooting boots.

 

So you're confident then Brian

 

Oh yes.

 

I can tolerate that on the basis that Southgate is
being honest with it. He is starting with an "it is
what it is" , and the hope that if the players do
click together there will be plenty of performances/
results like the 2016 Germany 3-2 rather than the
far too often dirges of the past 3 years.

 

I won't blame Southgate, as I did Hodgson 2 years ago. He's not picked Rooney in a deep lying midfield position that he has no experience of, nor any obvious aptitude for. Nor has he taken unfit players or those like Smalling, who just aren't suited to how he wants to play.

I wonder if we have a Plan B but under Uncle Roy it was hard to fathom what Plan A was. We have limited players, so it's down to heart and belief and leadership.......so, basically, we're ****ed.

 

I've noticed an upsurge in optimism about England over the last few days now the tournament is upon us.
Reality should kick in again after watching tonight's game.
England can't live with the best teams.
Q-F would be a great achievement and represent our best on a good day.
I'd like to be proved wrong.

 

I've seen articles identifying Roman Torres as the weak link in Panama's defence - or to put it another way, articles already looking past Tunisia and looking to secure qualification with a game to spare after beating Panama

 

I like the confidence in the squad, and for once the media are keeping a lid on the mindless optimism, (we'll see if thats still the case tomorrow).

I also think that the qtr finals is the best we can hope for and that would be ok based on recent tournaments, and represent an improvement. I just want us to turn up this time, and play some decent football that the fans can enjoy, as a Spurs fan I also want to see our players emerge unscathed from the tournament both physically and mentally

 

Thus far the teams from established football continents of Europe and South America have found a way against the teams from emerging continents and nations - at some point that's going to come to an end. Please, don't let it be us.

England should have enough to beat Tunisia but it's never a gimme in the first game. An early goal would definitely help. If it's 0 - 0 at half time, I'm making space behind the sofa.

 

It's the elephants exposing space on the flanks you need to worry about...

 

This is definitely what would happen if England won the World Cup via @bbcsport