Embarrassing...

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I've kicked my coffee table countless times and I never learn. I always take my anger out on the table as well, as if it's the table's fault.

I once did that. Not a coffee table, but a chair. Goodness knows how I missed seeing it, but I swung my leg in frustration and practically ripped my big toenail off in the impact. It was very late, so I drank an awful lot of alcohol very quickly, used a modelling scalpel, with a fresh blade, put my big toe under the cold tap and performed the surgery. These years later you'd never know which big toe got damaged. Did I have a hangover the next day though. Ooh..! Took about a month to fully recover.
 
I once did that. Not a coffee table, but a chair. Goodness knows how I missed seeing it, but I swung my leg in frustration and practically ripped my big toenail off in the impact. It was very late, so I drank an awful lot of alcohol very quickly, used a modelling scalpel, with a fresh blade, put my big toe under the cold tap and performed the surgery. These years later you'd never know which big toe got damaged. Did I have a hangover the next day though. Ooh..! Took about a month to fully recover.

Years ago when I used to play cricket fairly regularly I got hit on the toe by a fast one when batting. As a result I got a haematoma under my big toenail which was extremely painful, and which sent me to Casualty the next day. The nurse who treated me rubbed her hands with glee, unbent a paper clip, heated it up until it was red hot and burnt through my toenail to relieve the pressure. That hurt worse than either the original injury or the blood under the nail. Then the toenail fell off a couple of days later.