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Dribbles "Joke" thread

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Ze, Mar 13, 2013.

  1. Radio Klopp

    Radio Klopp Armed & Dangerous

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    Bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three
    tasks.

    First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.

    As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him.
    To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a
    spade.
    Realising his employer won't be pleased; he disposes
    of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will
    eat anything.

    Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp
    house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with
    coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing
    them both.
    What can he do?

    Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because
    lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion
    enclosure.

    He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey
    from the South American Bees.
    As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He
    grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.
    By now he knows what to do and throws them into the
    lion's cage because lions eat anything.

    Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He
    wanders up to another lion and asks "What's the food
    like here?"
    The lion says: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had
    Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees.
     
    #41
  2. Sharpe*

    Sharpe* Senior Member

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    Bumping old threads again.

    <yikes>
     
    #42
  3. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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  4. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Heard that one before Radio but forgot about it, great joke <ok>
     
    #44
  5. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Just got a Jehovah's Witness advent calender. Every time you open a door, it tells you to **** off.
     
    #45
  6. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    I took the condom from the rapper and started to slowly unroll it down my throbbing erect shaft, never once losing eye contact with the young woman who stared on in wide-eyed disbelief. I unrolled it to its full length and said to the woman. "Yes, that seems to fit OK. I'll take the whole packet".
     
    #46
  7. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Two snowmen in a field, one says to the other "Can you smell carrots?!"
     
    #47
  8. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Have you heard about the new Arsenal Bra?
    It has a lot of support but no cups
     
    #48
  9. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    FFS <doh>
     
    #49
  10. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Whats up with that one?
     
    #50

  11. its older than your leg story <doh>
     
    #51
  12. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    I very much doubt that <doh>
     
    #52
  13. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Okay then......


    Torres has broken David Blaines record of doing nothing in the box for 40 days!


    <laugh>
     
    #53
  14. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    FFS <doh>

    What's wrong with your leg, mate?
     
    #54
  15. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    Which one?

    A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought THREE women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
    She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
    "Wow! How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
    She coldly replied: "Because I can't stand HER."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
    #55
  16. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Very harsh and quite scary <yikes>
     
    #56
  17. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Nothing worth going on about mate
     
    #57
  18. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Really?
     
    #58
  19. Jürgenmeiʃter

    Jürgenmeiʃter Top top top top top flirt

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    Yeah dont worry yourself


    What do you call a woman with one leg?




    Eileen
     
    #59
  20. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Marginal improvement. Keep trying <ok>
     
    #60

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