Dev's jokebook found

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I don't know all about it.

Every time they abduct me I understand a bit here and there.

Normally they abduct me when I'm driving on the M8 motorway.

Ever joined a motorway and the next thing you know your're leaving the motorway and can't remember driving along it like you were driving in autopilot? You've been abducted. FACT.

Sounds like an elaborate excuse to explain your sore bottom.
 
Sounds like an elaborate excuse to explain your sore bottom.

Aliens gave up interest in anal probing back in the 1950's. Just ask Eddie.

I mean, for **** sake, how much can you learn about the biology of an animal by sticking probes up it's arse?

...oh, I see what you mean, I got shagged.