Decorating??

you didnt say that, i was looking at your avatar and that clearly suggests a peeled banana

 

You're meant to freeze it first

 

what has? you being let out?

how come you responded if i am on your ignore list?

 

Now there's an image I could have done without.

 

My wee sphincter is used to temperate conditions.

I'm not putting it through that sort of sub-zero debauchery.

If fruit or berries are going up my arse, they're going up there at room temperature - I'm not some sort of deviant FFS.

 

You're clearly a ****ing amateur.

 

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Compromise

 

Fair enough, I'm trying it without the sticky out bits first, though.

 

you are of course correct. I am an amateur at fruitophillia

<hangsheadinshame>

 

you'll have to change your avatar from big jobby
to plugged

 

I think my jobbies might exit a bit easier after today.

Noiseless farts - here I come

 

Mind the vaseline around the entrance first

 

I don't need lube.


Real men just use a good run-up

Lube is for ****s.

 

does it hav eto be vaseline?

or can you use any petroleum based jelly?

and will E45 do?

 

You mean you don't use the wet finger method?

 

Ok, I'm officially grossed out now.

 

A raging bumraider told me that, to widen an arse, just move your finger round clockwise in there - he stressed it MUST be clockwise.

I took him at his word cos the guy must've had more arseholes than an EDL march.

 

How the **** did a thread about household decorating digress into people shoving their 5 a day up their arses?

You lot are a sick bunch

 

its tina again

 

paint the ceilings in a black gloss