'Right so me, Skullcrusher Daz and a few of the lads went down to Poole Harbour today to protest against the freedoms being stripped from us by this hoax coronavirus. I went into a well known high st shop and demanded to see the manager, when he arrived he tried telling me that I had to wear a mask, so I calmly read out to him the Covidiots charter that was posted on Info Wars and I can tell you he didn't like it one bit.
When he tried to usher me out of the shop, that's when Daz piled in, pinned him up against the wall and recited to him the time he crushed a pensioners skull at one of our gigs when he caught him eyeing up the 74 year old Cougar that I was dazzling with my rendition of Ultravox's Dancing with tears in my eyes. The shop manager thought better of it so he backed down and we proved to everybody that stupid ****s come in all sorts of guises, ages and body shapes."