Off Topic Coronavirus and Quarantine

You one of those high class hookers?

 

High class?
He hangs around football stadium toilets

 

I’ll give Greta your mobile number.

 

32 flights? How many times can a person go on holiday to Turkey, Chippy?

 

About the same number of times he has to stick his arse out in Fenwicks window

 

I have survived being sick in my socks on a busy train back from Manchester having taken incredible amounts of ecstasy , cocaine and lsd, so im not even remotely scared of a ****ing virus quite frankly.

 

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zzz

 

Only clean ones.

 

I’d watch all the American Pies in order, love them

 

Its a pain flying at the moment. Long medical forms to fill in to say you haven't been to China, don't have any symptoms and dont plan on eating any cobras.
My Mrs phoned me from Doha the other day to say the wouldn’t let her on the plane as she had a nosebleed. They had to get two doctors to check her out before they would let her on.
Best downside of the outbreak was a programme from Australia where they were running out of paper cups and lids for coffee shops as the Chinese factories had shut for so long.

 

I think Rafa Benitez is partially responsible for the spread. He took his players to Marbella when the outbreak happened and then Spain got hit hard. Pretty selfish from chorizo boy. Typical Rafa really, only thinks about himself. Hence he left us with such a limited and unbalanced squad, all so he could carry out his anti football while he was here. Sickening.

 

Got Doha, Dubai and Muscat on the horizon so will have to allow more time for the extra checks no doubt.

 

I read somewhere that if this virus goes worst case scenario in this country then it could very well wipe out a town the size of Sunderland. Wouldn't it save a lot of pain and suffering to just cut out the middle man?

 

I think they don't expect it to jump species again so it is unlikely it will affect them.

 

Said to the landlord tonight " do you know what, in my opinion all solicitors are w@nkers "
At that point a bloke tapped me on the shoulder and said " I take exception to that"
I said " are you are a solicitor? "
He replied " no I'm a w@nker "

 

Anyone else think the media should share some of the blame for all this panic buying? The more they quote random parts of the country not having any bog roll the more folk will try to stockpile. I mean bog roll?

I can kinda understand beans and pasta but bog roll?

last time I had flu I can’t even remember ****ting.

I’m gonna start a rumour that purple dildos may go out of stock to boost their sales too.

what next ffs.